Sunday, September 09, 2007 ; 11:57 PMY
I really wish you were here.
I just went blog hopping, and I was really taken aback.
I was shocked for like 5 minutes.
I thought something happened to her, but soon then I realized she was talking about me.
Ermms. I think it's the way I blog, or I don't know. Whether or not they're gonna read my blog ever again.
I quote from my previous entry a few days back. Huge huge misunderstandings,
"24 bucks, gone just like that. No food entering into my tummy, no entertainment gained, nothing achieved, oh wells, at least I got home safely. First time in my 20 years of life. I've never spent more than 15 bucks even when I share. Now I'm spending 24 bucks ALONE. damn zai right. It's like from one side of Singapore to another."
I thought I told Chris about this? I told him that it was my cab fare that night. I wasn't saying that I din achieved or ate anything or no entertainment gained that night, I was talking about my cab fare! -_-
The dinner wasn't even 24 bucks what.. =.= Different perception arhx..
I swear I was talking about the CAB FARE alone.
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"I think I am not wrong at looking at things and judging how people feels towards me. It's getting up to my nerves, it probably goes the same to some of the rest of the people. Ha. Oh wells, thats why I said I'm happy to a certain extend that it's over. "
I'm not even talking about any of you. Do I have to say thing openly? -.- The people, are Alan's goddad and godbrother.
I quote from what they said about people with higher education, "This kind of people, you think you stand a chance to be with them? You're just their spare tyre... Bla bla bla.. They'll find a director or boss to be their future husbands.. bla bla blah.. " (BlaBlaBla=Worse comments)
So many of those I told this to, are super, duperly unhappy as well.
I'm suppose to be happy that we're through, isn't it?
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I din know not blogging in precise will lead to so much misunderstandings.
I don't expect the whole world to give in to me and do everything according to my schedule or whatsoever. It's just that it's tiring to be thinking of how do I get myself transported here and there, just to accomodate to the outings' timings and locations planned by you guys. Since I don't have a car, and most of your outings are going to drag to the middle of the night, I'd have to approach those peeps with a vehicle to confirm whether I can be sent to a place where it's convenient for me to get home, isn't it? If there isn't, I'd needa think of other ways, and if there isn't any way out, of course I can't turn up. You never know how much I'd love to, to ALL the outings.
Am I suppose to blame myself for living a part of Singapore where isn't near to any of you guys?
I don't even blame you guys. I was just trying to suggest places more centralised for everyone, and make the meetings, earlier?
These factors are never a problem in the past because haven't you realise all our outings are getting further and further, later and later? And I can't be cabbing home EVERYtime, I don't print money. That's why I can only turn up when I have the extra cash for cab.
I have ever went out with you guys and ended up being cashless to take a cab home and I'll just have to join you to Chai Chee, much as I don't want to. But I don't get to go to Chai Chee anymore... What do you expect me to do?
If you were the one staying away from any one with a vehicle, and you don't have money to take cab home every time, what will you do?
If any of you means nothing to me, will I go to the extent of preparing the appropriate amount of cash to cab myself home? If all of you means nothing to me, will I even bother writing this entry?
Will I be even starting to make YOUR gift, if I don't care about YOU.
I'm sensitive, by nature. Or it's the way I'm being brought up. But I have never really flared up to friends, unless I'm PMS-ing so badly that I don't even know what I'm doing, like today.
But I don't, and have never liked the idea of hiding any hard feelings inside and treat it like nothing. If no one were to take a first step to voice out, I always will. Since you chose not to respond to my initiative, then what can I do? I've never publicized whatever it was that you were mentioning. I wanted a solution, and when I don't know how to solve, I'll ask for help, from the appropriate persons. Apparently, I was surprised to know that there're more people who knows than the people I approached. Dunno why too.
I don't know how much help this post will do, when it's already been days, and it's only today that I read about it.
I'll probably, be ignored/blocked/anything if I were to approach you now.
I apologize for all these misunderstandings. I don't know what else I could say.
Take care, all of you.
Goodnights.
