Friday, July 20, 2007 ; 7:38 PMY
I really wish you were here.
For the next few days/weeks/months, I think my posts shall be very emotional and turn off even repetitive, if you can take it, read on. If you can't, then refrain from entering my blog for a period of time.
Please understand that it isn't easy for me to get used to single-hood life, after being attached for 4 years almost consecutively.
And it's not very logical to consult and pour things out to people
everyday. Cuz there's no point to it. I just want somewhere somehow where I can let things out, to make myself feel better. And this is the place.
Don't ask me what happened, cause I won't feel like talking about it. Those whom I feel like telling, have already known what you wanna know.
I feel stupid giving up a relationship I fought so hard for, for such a foolish reason.
But what am I supposed to do?
This is something that you and I cannot change, and I mind alot. It's my dignity, it's my pride, it's my self-esteem we're talking about.
Say that I'm selfish, but I really really cannot put everything down just for the word LOVE.
He just doesn't understand.
Plus,
I've read somewhere, your boyfriend who loves me will not get any closer to other female friends, to make me mad.
This isn't important anyways. It's just jealousy. I know he won't cheat on me. But the feeling doesn't stop, and continues to worsen, there's one point when I cannot take it, and God knows what I will do, when that moment arrives.
Sighs.
He thinks that I wanted some time alone cuz I've lost the feelings for him.
He hates me, he really hates me now.
Do you know how it feels to be hated by the person you love?
And you can just accept it, and do nothing?
I will miss his touch.
I will miss his kisses.
I will miss his goodnight messages.
I will miss his hugs.
I will miss him telling me he loves me.
I will miss his protection.
I will miss his room.
I will miss alot alot alot alot of stuff to do with him.
But I needa get over these.
